It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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