I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
