Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
