someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I enjoy the company of your penis
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
