Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
