Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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