Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I pour the whiskey from now on
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
