Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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