i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
