this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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