Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize