No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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