..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
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