Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
