Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
