I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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