No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
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