the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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