I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
