They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
This is my life. Enjoy the view
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
