I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
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