you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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