I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
