Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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