just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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