I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize