just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
