she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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