Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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