I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
