Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
