Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Randomize
