I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
there's paper in my vomit.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Randomize