we made out on top of his cat.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
