eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
