Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
