me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
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