im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
