I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize