Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize