I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Randomize