i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Randomize
