soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
