Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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