you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Please don't give away my fajitas
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize