Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
