The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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