shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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