well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
