I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
me + whiskey = a bad person
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
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