I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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