just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
