MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
