i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
