Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I have surprise drugs for everyone
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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