i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
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