he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
