Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
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