Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
