your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
