1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
