Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
