i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
