Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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