I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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