I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
